42 years of life…..I share with you 7 Hard Core “I HAVE LEARNED” life lessons

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I have learned that my life is my own.

Midlife brings with it a lot of mixed emotions for anyone that has passed through it. It’s a period when you get to reflect and assess your actions and relationships….constantly. A period when you reflect on your accomplishments and failures….at least this is my story….

My life so far…..

In looking back across my 42 years of life, I take stock of my pain and gain, for I have indeed experienced my own share of it. Both good and bad. Just like you, I have been very happy…..most of the time; disappointed…..several times; hurt and disillusioned….occasionally by circumstances and people around me. I have experienced the pain of losing someone extremely dear to my heart. My mother. Through all these emotions and experience medley, I see that I have evolved. In fact, tremendously. I have attained maturity both mentally and spiritually. So I come to you today as a two-part baked cake. On one side, I am fully baked, rich with life experiences and lessons learned. On the other side, the cooking is still ongoing for I know there is still much to see and learn in life.


Through all my emotions and experience medley, I see that I have evolved.

From my fully baked side….here is what I have for you

I have learned through much difficulties to appreciate my personality and uniqueness. This was a very difficult journey for me. I remember so well trying to fit into other people’s shoes when God in his unique way prepared mine for me. I used to clip my feet so hard my feet began to hurt. At a point I had clipped so much, there was nothing to clip anymore. Then I had no choice but to love my feet the way God gave me. So please if you see me doing my THING, be happy for me. For I am just slipping my God-given beautiful feet into my divinely designer shoes; If someone is trying so hard to let you see who they are, please quit re-molding them to who you think they should be. Simply accept them so they don’t pull back from you;

I have learned that my life is my own. No one can live it for me. I have learned to take charge of my life. I have learned never to allow anyone dictate how I lead my life for me. I have learned to take control of my happiness. Is this arrogance….I don’t think so for I know the definition of arrogance. This is CONFIDENCE. It is knowing who you are as a person and individual. Appreciating what you have and quietly working on your personality deficiencies for we all have them. In all these frenzy though, I am very conscious of the fact that I am still a student in life institution hence I am as malleable as a clay.


I have learned never to keep the company of negative minded people.

I have learned never to keep the company of negative minded people. They pull me down and dim my light and God’s gift if given the chance. So what do I do when I encounter them?……I simply pull back. I re-navigate. Re-route my GPS. If I have pulled back from you, please bear with me. It isn’t because I don’t like you. In fact, it is the reverse, I love you and I understand that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion in life. I am re-routing so I may get to my divine destination in God’s time.

I have learned that the word PERSPECTIVE is key in managing people and life daily challenges. Through perspective, I am able to stay humble. I am able to appreciate and explain people’s actions and situations away just because I changed my perspective. I relate with people better now just because I changed my perspective. Issues hardly ruffle my feathers now….you know why? Because I changed my perspective. Simple.  Forgiving has become easier for me. Generosity is even much easier. Accommodating, selflessness,…..you know all those actions we have been commanded to do by the bible and you have been struggling with, well try applying the phrase “let me change my perspective” and you will be amazed at how easier you will be able to handle them.


Now I raise my head into the future. What do I see? I see LIFE!

I have learned never ever to OVER chastise myself. I mean if I do that to me, what will other people do…….Kill me? Wow! When I make mistakes, something as little as forgetting I had something on the stove and it got burned? What do I do? I simply tell myself, I’ll try not to do that again. Put some measures in place so I don’t forget and I try to maintain it. But per adventure I forget……sorry for my choice of word…..HECK! It is what it is. I tried! What do I do, I clean it up, shake it off my shoulders and simply move on. People (especially over achievers) expect too much from other people. Let me tell you something, every personality has a flaw. YES WE ALL DO! Some of us have just mastered how well to manage them. Please don’t think I’m trying to indulge bad uncivilized behaviors under the camouflage of “it is my personality” or should I say “that’s the way God made me”. Nope! On the contrary. As long as you realize your mistakes, constantly work towards rectifying them, the rest, leave to God to handle and not people.

I have learned never or should I say try never to step on people’s toes because relationship is crucial in development and success. No relationship is wasted. Everyone has a good part to play. It might not be an immediate need but somewhere down the line one might need the assistance of that one person you ignored on your way up the ladder. And lastly…..

I am convinced there is heaven. I mean, there has to be, otherwise how can you explain the sudden passing of a loved one who was called suddenly by God and didn’t have the chance to say goodbye to her beloved child……you know the reason? It’s because there is still another chance to meet and fellowship again…..my dear, if you don’t believe before, believe it now……there is eternity. Keep eternity in your consciousness at all times.


I have learned through much difficulties to appreciate my personality and uniqueness.

From my other side that is still in the oven……here is what I have for you…My Horizon

I thank God for my past joy and happiness. For my challenges, my hopes and dreams. I give God the glory for my present life. For all these have helped in molding me. Now I raise my head into the future. What do I see? I see LIFE. I see dreams been accomplished. I see myself crossing more huddles and rising above challenges. I see much love and giving.  I see hope. I see myself learning new life lessons. While I love my old friends, I see myself meeting new people. I see myself claiming all that is divinely mine. I see TOLUSWORLD successful.

I WISH MYSELF A BEAUTIFUL HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I stretch forth my hand to embrace all that God has prepared for me. I pray for more joy, strength, ability, more wisdom and understanding. Above all these I pray for PATIENCE. Patience with myself; Patience with my husband and children; Patience with my extended family, friends and co-workers.

Thank you for always visiting Tolusworld.

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3 thoughts on “42 years of life…..I share with you 7 Hard Core “I HAVE LEARNED” life lessons

  1. Happy birthday my lovely sister. You are indeed a blessing to this generation. I cherish your write up on numerous topical issues. It is quite educative and inspirational. More grace. I wish you long and fulfilling life.

  2. Happy birthday Tolu. You are blessed beyond your expectations. May this be your best year yet! Enjoy.