Dear Single Ladies, I hope your day started well……..Today I decided to spend my morning with you. My write-up will touch on an issue that I think bothers the mind of single ladies. My aim at the end of the write-up is to encourage you on your journey to finding your soul mate. Expect to see write-up like this often as we go along in our relationship as this is one of my callings and I am passionate about it…..speaking and encouraging single ladies. Your journey was my journey 13-14 years ago.

There are so many hot topics for single ladies but for today I will only speak on one of them, Commitment ……….A broad topic that cannot be covered in this write-up…..

To start with , I’ll like to let you know that men and women are created differently therefore our thinking patterns are different. We women are wired to think of marriage at a very early age. Sometimes as early as teenage years. Men are not like us. A woman pictures her future life with every guy she finds herself in a relationship with. Which is a good thing but the problem with some women is that they choose the wrong guy to be in a relationship with.They get attracted to the wrong type of guy and then when many years have been invested, they become scared to let go for fear of starting all over again. Sometimes women think the moment they let go of the guy that is when he’ll decide to commit. For some reason some women think because they are psychologically prepared for marriage and are sweet to a guy, he should commit. Wrong! In fact quite a number of times, this could cause a choking effect on the relationship.

Relationship January 14This is the reason why as a woman you need to be selective in whom you agree to go into a relationship with (topic for another day). Do not expect that a man who is still trying to find his footing in life will propose to you just because he tells you he loves you. Men are more practical than that. Mostly, men love with their heads and not their heart. Loving with their hearts come later in the relationship (or even inside marriage for some guys). Women love with their hearts. This needs to be switched the other way round. We need to be more practical like men. Being practical will save you a lot of heart ache. When I speak to singles, I tell them, you need to love with your head first then let your heart follow suit. If you are serious about your search for a potential life partner, you need to be truthful to yourself. You need to study a guy’s entire package (believe me they do the same for you).

So for now here is a take home for you………….

– You can’t change a man’s decision based on your desire. He will commit when he feels he is ready;

– If you are in a relationship (say 1 year conservatively) and you don’t see any sign that he is committed or if he is evasive about your future together, it is time for you to re-evaluate and move on. To add…..don’t be scared to move on please, please and please. The faster you decide and do, the better and easier it is for you.

– Be selective on whom you go into a relationship with. Know what you want in a man (though be reasonable in what you look for).

And lastly….. Fear is an emotion that you should never allow to overcome you. Some people say it is powerful, but we are the ones that give it power. Do not be afraid to move on. If you get the feel that the guy is not ready to commit and the years are moving by (believe me they do move by fast), come out of the relationship. It might hurt initially but trust me, it will not break you……..

Commitment is such a big topic that I will touch on over and over again…….. 

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  1. Nice article. Solid points on women using our heads first and hearts later. Also, matured women who desire marriage as a goal should not be afraid to state it very early in the relationship, I dare say in the first month. This will help minimize being strung along by commitment phobes and weed them out early. Lastly I agree so much with “never be afraid to move on” !!!!

  2. Nice article sis, you hit very solid points in dating advice. Women ought to start using our heads first in dating relationships and hearts later.
    Also, I agree that mature women whose intention is marriage should not be afraid to state it very early in the relationship, waaay before 1yr mark fa. A whole year is too long a time investment to let oneself be strung along. And yes lord, amen! never be afraid to move on!!!!

    • Thanks Bola. On the 1 year dating, I always try to be conservative so women can say they tried. I will advice between 6months to 1year. This is enough time for a guy to make up his mind on the future of the relationship. Thanks for visiting Tolusworld. Oh by the way, I just came back from the spa. I went with a good friend and I’ll be blogging about it tomorrow. Check out my trending page and don’t forget to invite friends….. 🙂

      • Will do! And congrats on the blog.Sorry I posted comments twice, please delete t h e second one since both convey the same message. i got an error message when i first posted so I didn’t realize the first one posted successfully.