I had just finished making dinner the other night after a long day’s work. God knows I was genuinely tired and couldn’t wait to hit my bed for my beautiful and well-deserved night rest. Earlier in the day I had to travel for almost 2 hours to attend a meeting. It’d been a hectic day and my bed was calling. As I entered the room, I saw Dokun on his laptop. Tired and working earnestly on a document. He barely looked up when I greeted him. He said he was so tired and exhausted from the day’s work but the important document had to go out that night. After about 40 minutes, I was in my PJs and as I was pulling the comforter out to slide into bed, Dokun asked if I could assist him in reviewing and editing the document. It was a 17-page document. What? ☹ Ha! This will take me at least 1hour 30 mins to complete. With the back and forth we will have to go through when reviewing it. O ga o! God knows I was so not in the mood. I took a deep breath and slowly I placed the comforter back in place and went to his side of bed to assist him. It was one of the longest document review I had done on a while……. I just sacrificed………….
Sacrifice in life involves giving up something that you will rather have for the comfort of another. Every good and close knitted relationship is like that. This is no-brainer and marriage is not any different. For a marriage to be considered healthy and successful, both parties must be willing to sacrifice and equally too. Problems arise when one party feels he/she is sacrificing more than the other. I share with you some of the sacrifices I have made and still make in other to have a beautiful marriage.
Beauty/fashion Supply for financial need
I once went to speak at a couples’ seminar and in the course of my speaking engagement, I mentioned that I wasn’t much of a high maintenance woman. They all laughed at me saying I sure didn’t look it. Meaning, I looked like a high maintenance lady. It was difficult to explain to them because I dressed glamorously. But the truth is that I love fashion but can do without it if need be, especially when it involves the need of my husband or children. Makeup, expensive clothing and shoes, expensive accessories are all additives that one can live without if need be and I hope you think likewise. This is a sacrifice I have and will make if necessary.
Some Relationships (Both Male and Female)
My thought on this is, I don’t think any male or female relationship is worth disrupting my marriage for. In marriage, both parties are supposed to be feel comfortable with any outside relationship you have. Immediately you sense discomfort in your spouse, especially if your spouse is a very reasonable person whose aim is not to ostracize you from the world, you need to take a good look at that relationship and determine if it is worth the sweat. So yes, I will and have sacrificed some relationships to keep my marriage.
The need to be right all the time
Conflict is something one cannot escape in marriage. It is a natural occurrence that every couple goes through. Conflict, if not managed properly can escalate to shouting and exchanging of very volatile words if not managed properly, may inflict permanent, irreversible dent on marriage. I once wrote on conflict management in marriage and 7 healthy fighting habits in marriage. You can read it to know how to fight clean in marriage so that the foundation of your marriage will still be intact post fight. Anyway, back to the gist of the day. The need to let go when in an argument is not something I went out of my way to work on but for some reason, I just realized that the older I got in marriage, the less I argued. The need to keep peace in my marriage became greater that the need to be right or have the last say in an argument. So now, when I sense that an argument is getting out of hand or escalating, I either walk away or just keep mute and you know what, that just simply ends the argument. Of course, if it is something we have to talk about, I find a better time when we are both in our downtime mood to discuss it. So, yes I will and have sacrificed the need to be right all the time.
Like the story I shared above. If you picture the day, you’ll see that I was extremely tired. Definitely not in the mood for any paper or computer work but my hubby needed me at that point. Over the years, Dokun and I have developed some understanding when it comes to certain things and ensuring that we support each other in our individual careers is one of them. We are each other’s critique, encourager, supporter, advisor, manager, etc. So whenever he writes a document (not all the time though) and he needs a second eye to look at it, I do that without much ado and vice versa…… so I am willing to lose sleep for Dokzy and I hope you do the same.
Choice of Entertainment
Ok, so this is one of the light ones I am sharing today. I love movies. May God help me. I love my Nigerian movies but if my hubby wants to do something else for entertainment or just want to go out when I am a little down and do not feel like it, I change my plan and mood to do what he wants. Again, yes, I am willing to change my choice of entertainment for Dokun.
So over to you dear reader. What have you sacrificed in your marriage? What other things do you think one can sacrifice in marriage? Add to the list below. Don’t leave without leaving a comment.
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Tolusworld Profile- Tolu Dairo MD. MSc. A Life Coach (Motivational/Relationship/Parenting) and writer who uses her passion for career/self-development, positive parenting and healthy relationships to inspire people to live their dreams.