Finding the ideal man for marriage can be very challenging. A burden that weighs on the mind of a matured single lady. Counseling them, I hear “where are all the nice guys”? In reflecting on this, I believe with a little strategic planning, a lady can increase her chance of meeting a decent man suitable for marriage.

Google defines strategy as “a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim”. Wikipedia defines it as “a high level plan to achieve one or more goals under conditions of uncertainty”; stay with me I’m going somewhere with this.


Picture 2 young Nigerian ladies (Ify and Kemi) who both dream to settle down with a Nigerian man. For some reason they found themselves in Uzbekistan for their higher education where there are very few Nigerian men. Upon completion of their degree, Kemi went back to Nigeria to get a job while Ify liked Uzbekistan so much she stayed back and got a job. Now applying the law of chance or should I say probability, which one of these ladies do you think stand a higher chance of meeting and eventually marrying her ideal Nigerian guy….of course Kemi. She stands a better chance and has more choices. This is simple mathematical principles of probability.

Like other aspects of life, if one puts thoughts and planning into a relationship it stands a higher chance of it working out.

Realistically, for the 21-25 (maybe 26) year old ladies (with few exceptions) with excellent resume (i.e. profession, family background, beauty etc )….stand a higher chance of meeting and marrying a decent man. But once you start stepping into your late twenties, and crossing over into 30s……the chances begin to plummet. This is the blunt reality of life. So how do we deal with this? Here is where strategic positioning/planning must come into play……by the way, strategic planning can be applied by any lady in their marriageable age. We all don’t know when we’ll get married (men inclusive). Especially for women it gets more complicated because we have to wait to be proposed to. There is a lot of uncertainty involved.

To reduce market uncertainty, organizations have a strategic plan behind every project embarked on so that a desired goal may be achieved. Likewise a lady should strategically plan her journey to holy matrimony so that she can reduce uncertainty and increase her chance of meeting her ideal man.

Strategically positioning yourself for your ideal man(1)So now you ask me… Tolu…. but how do I strategically position myself to find that guy?

Here are my thoughts………. 🙂

#1. Content and Character Building- I scratched this on the surface a little last week. For this particular one, you need to do more work depending on the kind of man you are looking to find. For example, if you are looking to marry a professional, how much of a professional are you? If you don’t get this right, it truncates the other points below. One of the law of attraction states “That which is like unto itself is drawn”…… “Like attract likes”. Another statement I hear all the time is “immediately I met her, we just connected”. A common saying, right? To quickly chip as well here that we emit our content….meaning (for example) if you are a dedicated, persistent hardworking person, this will reflect in you carriage and speech. You will attract like characters. The Principle of Vibration states “You will attract and manifest the things that match your vibration; and the things you vibrate are always moving toward you”. My point is…BE THAT PERSON YOU ARE LOOKING TO ATTRACT…..

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#2. Location; Location; Location- Where do you hang out? Who do you hang out with? If you find yourself in a wrong environment all the time, my dear check yourself. You can’t be going to clubs day-in day-out and expect to meet and marry a good man from the club. You might say but I know a couple who met at the club, and they are happily married. True…there are exceptions…but check the statistics. How often does that occur? Do we have a guy in the house, please help me out here  🙂 . Also, are you constantly in the midst of women? Like in 24-7-365 days a year? Or are you the type that hangs around older folks day-in-day-out? Hang around older matured folks to get wisdom from them but please don’t make them you humble abode.

 #3. Exposure and Visibility (tied a little to #2) – How exposed are you to decent men in your day-to-day activities and weekends. This is important. Join a professional organization (like Rotary club etc) or a non-governmental organization. Are you a lawyer, an accountant, an estate agent etc. Whatever your specialty is, find your fellow peers and serve actively with them. You increase your chance. But a little caution here…. Please don’t join women’s organization with the aim of exposing yourself to finding the ideal man. Women organizations empower women (you need this but not just for this reason). Church is another place you can get exposed. Serving in an organization builds, molds and more importantly gives you the opportunity to display your beauty, wonderful character, intelligence and skill set. It advertises you.

 #4. Take up a social sport- You read me right….. sport. Like golfing. ‘Never went golfing before (my hubby likes this but I never went with him) but I heard fine eligible financially 😉 stable decent men go golfing. And the interesting thing, we hardly see women on the golf course. So be the first in the neighborhood. If it’s too expensive to join a golf club, why not volunteer there. Volunteering is a noble course. It exposes you and who knows you might find yourself striking conversation with one of the men. You get the gist…..right? Volley ball is another great sport.

Remember, strategy is when you are intentional about something and you put a plan to back it up. Remember to pray for God’s grace and glory as you embark on your journey. May God help every single lady in their pursuit of their life partner, Amen!

Do you have any question that has been bothering you? Please feel free to ask in the reply box below. You can also send me an email on

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  1. hello,tolusworld.what can u say about someone that can’t meet up with all the criterias what will that person do?Cases were am a working class person and my movement is from work to house,to church, excepts on occasional basis that I have to attend a ceremony. what will such person do?

    • Hello, to answer your question, …. one of the things I have learned in life is this, if you are trying to reach a goal and the mode and path you’ve been taking keeps landing you on the same spot and or in a place you don’t want to be then you need to change your ways. My point, you have to change something about your way of life. Your church, what type of church do you go to? And if you can’t change church, give yourself more exposure by attending functions in other churches, volunteer at your church or a church you admire and can spiritually grow. Join a social club that is engaged in community project and be active there etc. If you continue to go from work to church to occasional social ceremony, dear, you might continue to remain in that position for a long time. Get involved in something dignifying like leading a project in church etc that will make people know your person, your character, your ability, attribute etc. May God help you in your quest. Subscribe to via email so you don’t miss any of my post anymore. Use the subscription box on your screen, enter your email and go back to your email to click on the link and confirm susbcription. Thanks