“SINGLE LADY” (EP#3): All Men Cheat in Their Marriages! Really? A Pre-marital Preconception.

All men cheat in their marriages. Men are not created to be monogamous. No matter what you do as a woman in marriage to satisfy your husband, he will cheat on you. You know why? That is the way God created them. No man is created to be faithful to one woman. Interesting! 🙂


Interesting! What do you think?

Last week, I invited a young single lady (a friend) over to my house for dinner and while we were talking over a cup of wine, “Something To Talk About”, a movie played by Julia Roberts, Dennis Quaid and Robert Duvall was being aired on TV. This is the story of a “supposedly beautiful loving perfect family”. You know, the kind every woman dreams about where the husband dotes on his wife. But unfortunately, Julia Roberts (who played the wife) caught her husband cheating on her……red handed. Beautiful movie. You should watch it if you haven’t. Anyways, watching the movie, my guest couldn’t help but ask, “why do men do this?”. I mean, Dennis Quaid (who played the husband) had a beautiful life. A beautiful child, a gorgeous wife and a thriving career. What else was he looking for? She then went further to ask me, aunty…. “is it true that men are not created to be monogamous, is it true all men cheat in marriage”. I smiled because this was not the first time I was hearing this question.  As a matter of fact, I know quite a number of women, both single and married who believe one man cannot stay with one woman. They say Polygamy is ingrained in a man’s DNA.

Well dear singles, I beg to differ. I disagree with this school of thought.

The Danger of Having a Pre-conception or Pre-notion that “All Men Cheat in Marriage”

Have you ever heard the saying “What you believe is what you become” or “you are what you are today because of everything you have believed in life”.  One doesn’t need to be a psychologist to know some facts of life especially after having gone through some life lessons. Having a negative pre-notion about a man you are yet to meet, a marriage you are yet to begin is a dangerous way of beginning your dating life or marriage. I believe strongly that what you believe influences your way of life. Your thoughts inform your action or inaction which in turn lead you to a particular lifestyle or a particular type of person.  So if you are one of the people who believe that polygamy is a norm for men, I am sorry for you. You will end up with a man who is a polygamist my person. Don’t defeat yourself before the battle even starts.


Don’t kill your marriage before you even start it. BUILD A STRONG FOUNDATION FOR YOURSELF. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET…..

It takes the grace of God to stay faithful……..No man is immune but for God’s grace

I’m sure you’re probably thinking that I’m contradicting myself. If it takes the grace of God to be faithful in marriage then it must really be a difficult task, right? Well my dear I see it differently. Like every other thing in life, I see faithfulness as a matter of God’s grace. What in life does not take the grace of God? From finding a decent man, to keeping a marriage, to conceiving a child, to raising the child etc.  Grace is what you should pray for, for your man. Grace to be able to overcome all temptations that come his way. While you are praying for the grace, please don’t forget to walk the walk as well. Don’t expose your relationship to unhealthy associations, friendships, environment, things that can cause a crack in your relationship. Remember, no one is immune to sexual temptations. All it needs is a little crack. What you should do is to be sensitive and alert to people who can cause havoc in your life. They can come in any form. Friends, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, extended family members, co-workers etc. Don’t hesitate to clip them off (sometimes diplomatically, sometimes out rightly depending on the influence and the “influencer”).

What a sensible married couple does is to surround themselves with like-minded people. People that share the same values.  Go to places that are family and monogamous relationship friendly. Then they continue to ice all these with prayers for God’s protection and guidance. But to just accept from onset that the man is going to go outside the marriage for sexual pleasure is JUST WRONG!!!!

Don’t kill your marriage before you even start it. BUILD A STRONG FOUNDATION FOR YOURSELF. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET…..

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Tolusworld Profile- Tolu Dairo MD. MSc.  A motivational speaker and writer who uses her passion for career/self-development, positive parenting and healthy relationships to inspire to live their dreams.


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5 thoughts on ““SINGLE LADY” (EP#3): All Men Cheat in Their Marriages! Really? A Pre-marital Preconception.

  1. Nice writeup. I don’t believe men were created to be polygamous because God is not an author of confusion. If that was the case, He would have formed many women from the man. This is a societal issue and Satan’s strategy to destroy peaceful homes. We should teach our boys to be faithful men who will stick to an love their wives., teach them to pray for the grace to be faithful in their marriages (they should learn to protect themselves too, it shouldn’t always be the woman’s duty) and to pray for a peaceful marriage. God honours purity in marriage.

  2. Very nice write ups, I go through them and I must say I do enjoy every bit of it, keep the good work going ma.

  3. Beautiful write-up as always…

    I also don’t agree with that school of thought.
    I believe that it’s what one feeds a child with that determines the child’s perspective and action. A child who has grew up to see his parent cheat will feel it’s okay to do same when he is grown.
    Acceptance of this ‘cankerworm’ perception is partly responsible for the way women bring up their children (son’s especially).
    All these said….i believe that whatever is good for the goose is good for gander too since temptation is common to all (men and women alike)!

    • And the same goes for you Debz, I always love reading your comment. you are right and it is unfortunate that some parents will allow their children to see their unhealthy acts.